HOLIDAY DEPRESSION

I often wonder why I feel so bummed out some days of the holiday season....life changes so much, and your kids grow up and out, and it just gets so old and tiring to do so much work on your holiday preparation for a few hours of enjoyment....it's like a wedding...it's so fleeting....I don't like it....

I like the lights, the colors, the sounds, the music...the story of Christmas....but the joy is missing for some reason....not the joy that lives in my heart, that is always there....the joy of Christ's birth, that I love to reflect on, what it must of been like for Mary that week....live in her mind....that gives me joy....

Not having my kids around just makes it seem so unnecessary anymore....I think that maybe Bob and I should find some of our own traditions...leave...go away so we don't put the pressure on them to be here, and we aren't disappointed because they don't come....I really wish they would start hosting it...let them go through all the prep and experience some of the disappointment of no shows...

I just can't seem to find any motivation at times....sometimes I wish we could just skip to January....I know that sounds selfish, and it is, but it makes it very hard for the later years of life....one day we all will feel it...I understand better how my mom felt. I feel so sorry for how I handled things when I had the chance way back then...I understand better why they are gone for the holidays...guess maybe it's a good plan after all....we'll see...next year the plans will start early...maybe Disneyland for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and if they come, fine and if they don't that is ok too.....it's got to be different.....

Balboa Island....

Went down to Balboa Island to help a friend get settled into her new little place there...it is such a quaint little village of ocean homes, and while I can't remember alot of things in childhood, I do recall when we used to go down there to my uncle's house on the island, and hang out...of course, we were to be seen and not heard around them...they also had a yacht and when we would go out on it, my aunt would always have Cheetos she would put out for the "adults" and we weren't allowed to touch them...just savor the wish that we could have one...she wasn't very nice at that point....definitely not one of my favorites, eating Cheetos in front of children and not sharing!! The thought of it....but the island was fun...I later stayed with some college friends there...we had a great time too...saw Buddy Ebson watering his yard...but he didn't look like a hillbilly then...

I look forward to going back for more visits in the coming months...can't wait until it is foggy and rainy...my kind of day!!

SILENT GROWTH

I was reflectiing on our garden this morning...

Bob didn't think the plants we have would do well from seedlings...he thought we'd need to buy the established plants to have them do well....

Negatory....as you can see, we clearly have crazy all over the place plants...it has been so much fun for us to see it grow...


We had put this raised bed system on a timed drip system...plant and walk away, everything is on automatic pilot...we just harvest the fruit of it....
...amazing how fast it changes, how quickly the plants became overgrown...I am reminded that the process is so much like...

.... Our walk with the Lord...someone planted a seed of the hope we have in Christ, and then time and time again, the water of knowledge makes the seed open up and begin it's growth process..
.. one day God brings that little seedling to the surface of the dirt, and eventually it clears the dirt surface, stronger and green and growing towards the light of the sun (Son)......sometimes we aren't aware, like the silent growth of a garden that something is happening....we can't see it happening..but it continues it's growth...clearing the dirt of the sin of our past, never completely free from the dust of it's dirt bed, yet no longer surrounded by what it broke free from...

....situations come up (in our case, squirrels all 14 of them that we had to relocate) and just as we protected our plants, God works circumstances out around us that we aren't even aware of, loving us, creating a safe environment for our growth...we need to be mindful of His graciousness, protecting and working things out that might thwart our growth when we are not even aware of it...

...then there is cause for pruning, like suckers on a tomato plant that would grown into nothing useful yet sap the water from the good part of the plant...we too have those times when life would sap our energy and divert us from recognizing the good in our life...pinching those suckers off quickly and while small, benefits the plant...Lord, guard the goodness of my life by pinching the suckers of discontentment, selfishness, anger, hurtfulness, slander, an unloving attitude, or discouragement towards those you have walk through my life...

...quietly the plant grows, and flowers of the fruit appear...how lovely they are...I am reminded that these are the times I have been mindful of being loving and kind, and an encouragement to those around me...sharing what He has provided to me, with others...living a life that pleases Him...

...the fruit of the flower appears, vunerable and at it's best potential for harm...birds, ants, heat, broken stems...cracks, burns, bites....we must let the Master Gardener search ... and find that which He will, and remove or repair those elements as only He knows how....guarding our hearts, soothing our souls, and healing our brokenness....creating an environment that allows us to flourish in His care...subjecting ourself to His sovereign will....relinquishing control, trusting His ability to protect that which He has created...for His purpose.

...and one day, the fruit is ready for harvest...one day He will bring us to that place of perfection, and glory in His storehouse...


I find myself in all aspects of the growth process....at times fighting for control, rejecting His desire for me, thinking I have a better way, refusing the cultivating He would like to do in me...impatient, feeling like He just is not very quick about things...

...Lord, help me allow you to be the Master Gardener in my life, every minute of every day...aware of your tending to my needs, the touch of your hand, the weeding of that which would harm me...give me peace that you see every flower and the fruit of the labor...help me be mindful of opportune moments to love and share with those you bring into my life....may I be willing to be pruned for your glory...thank you for loving me, when I am unloving....thank you Lord for the wonder of silent growth.....

GETTING READY FOR VACATION

We are headed out on a three week vacation next month, and I need about 4 weeks of time to get things ready...so much to do so little time...with school and current client work, things are a bit hectic...throw in a few surprise makeover projects and time crunch comes as no surprise...clearly I have neglected my blog, due to time restraints...but I am looking forward to the trip...a road trip...need the break with my hubby...it will be nice...we haven't spent more then 3 days alone in 30 years, so we will either have a lot of fun together, fight a lot (hope not) or a combo of the two....trying to take some car projects to do...and looking forward to sleeping a lot....hoping I can post some pics in route....off we go, into the wild blue yonder....

MASTER BEDROOM SURPRISE

So we helped out our son as he surprised his wife of one year, with a room makeover...we painted and installed the beam, the crown moulding, and then new bedding, nightstands, chair and table and a vanity area....she was very happy with it, and we had a great time as a family putting it together...my favorite thing was the canopy curtains...they were so easy to do, and added such a romantic touch...

Jenna is so gracious, and I told Josh, if she doesn't like something she doesn't have to keep it...I figured the lamps were the least favorable, so it will be nice for her to finish off her own touches to the room....it's tranquil and a quiet kind of cozy...great fun...enjoy!

WHERE DOES TALENT COME FROM?

Last week when I helped created a table centerpiece, which was a rusty old watering can, and some cupcake sunflower favors, for a tea my sister invited me to, she said something about being so talented....she makes beautiful quilts and she's telling me I am talented....funny....having heard this remark often in my lifetime, I have pondered it again and again....and I told her, and believe this to be true..."Talent is born out of desperation"....when you have no budget, you have to look around you and say what can I use?

A design teacher I once had took us to the ground level of saying, "Imagine being a settler, coming to west, with nothing but what's in the wagon, and figuring out how to build shelter"....all you have is what is around you, so what will you do?....a lean to...a cabin of trees...that is the beginning of talent...pushing the limits on what you have...and decade after decade that is what people do...push on to the next challenge, and imagine what can be done....within us all, if we are pushed to the limit and want a solution, we will find a way....the talent lies in trusting that our choices are acceptable, they work, and if we play with it enough we will find out we are capable of much more then we give ourselves credit for....just don't give up...the easy thing would have been to just grab a vase and stick the flowers in it...the creative thing was finding a rusty old watering can and gluing on seed pack pics and sticking flowers in it, adding some rocks around it and boom....serendipity, which happens when we aren't expecting it...joy in the simple things....look around you, enjoy the little details, cause God has put simple detail everywhere we look...find it.....


Besides...my sister makes beautiful quilts....I made beautiful quilts too, out of 3D objects like a table arrangement.....same principles, same creativity, just different materials....

Gotta run...a feel imagination calling....

Thanks for inviting me Wanda, I had a great time...and thanks for the creative opportunity...it was fun collaborating on it with you...

Have a nice week....

PS My hubby was pruning birch trees in the yard when I was leaving, and I said throw those branches in the car for me, I might use them...so we stuck them in, and surprisingly, they are still blooming a week later, and the leaves are growing!!! I think I might be able to start my own tree farm!!! Loving it.....serendipity....

TO RED MARBLES

RED MARBLES


I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I
noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean,
hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.
I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh
green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation
between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.


'Hello, Barry, how are you today?'
'Helllo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank you. Just admiring them peas. They
sure look good.'
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'
'Fine. Getting stronger all the time.'
'Good. Anything I can help you with?'
'No, Sir. Just admiring the peas.'
'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, sir. Got nothing to pay for 'em with.'
'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I have is my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it,' said Miller.
'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of
go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner
asked.

'Not 'zackley, but almost.'
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip
this way let me look at that red marble,' Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks, Mr. Miller.'
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile, she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our
community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to
bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes or whatever. When they
come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he
doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of
produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their
next trip to the store.'
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short
time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of
this man, the boys and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just
recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho
community, and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.
They were having his visitation that evening, and knowing my friends
wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the
mortuary, we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and
to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform
and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts. .
all very professional looking. They approached Mrs Miller, standing
composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men
hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved
on to the casket.


Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man
stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand
in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded
her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me
about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening,
she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about
They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them.
Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size.
. they came to pay their debt. We've never had a great deal of the
wealth of this world,' she confided,' but right now Jim would consider
himself the richest man in Idaho.'
With loving gentleness, she lifted the lifeless fingers of her
deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined
red
marbles.


There are many times I have said, "Commonsense seems to have been lost these days..." and I do believe that, and I think a lot of common sense is born out of down time to just time about life...I remember when walking to and from school kicking a rock all the way home, and that was "think" time...have no clue why I was usually walking alone when I had 3 siblings...but I don't think the kids today get that down time, to just think, daydream, imagine...I think their lives are so full of things to do, computer gizmos, sports, and other activites, and certainly they don't just walk places, they might get kidnapped, so they are dropped off and picked up....so sad, and you wonder what the future minds will be able to create, given they rarely daydream....oh well, back to the story....also, reading this I think we've lost a sense of cleverness...a cousin to common sense....to think beyond to lessons we could teach, without the pupil knowing it....

I think I will go daydream now...figure out some new ideas....create....imagine the possibilities (as Mary Engelbreit would say)....

CUTE CAKE

Now if I have a cute camper (see last blog) I would have to have cute cakes to serve and at the beach, this one would be perfect!!! This is so cute...I wonder if they used brown sugar for sand or if they colored white sugar for it...or graham cracker crumbs? This would be fun to try...but not today....

CUTEST CAMPER!!!

Ok, so is this not the cutest thing!!??? I love it! She finds an old trailer and reworks it for her yard and a getaway....how sweet is that!? I pass an old trailer all the time on my journeys down the hill, sitting in an old field, and what fun it would be to do this to it!!! Of course, Bob would call it my clubhouse, cause he wouldn't step foot in it, but isn't that the point...my own space? I just wish I had a piece of property big enough to put it on....then when I want to escape, I can hide out here...I just love this!!!! Shabby chic trailer!! So cute...I want one...now how to get it.....I will have to sit on this egg awhile.....he came home telling me all about one of the customers he has who just showed him his restored cars and was so excited about that, so why not be thrilled about a restored trailer...same thing right? kinda? Oh well, I sent this my darling daughter in love cause she loves shabby chic, and they have a trailer and she is going to tell my son this is what she wants to do to theirs....I can just see his little toy hauler done in pink!!! Well, it's one way to get her to go dirt bike riding and look pretty all weekend!!! HEHEHE....I can only imagine the guys he rides with reaction to that!!! I am rolling with laughter now.....love you Josh.....

MY FAVORITE ARTIST

My favorite artist will always be Susan Rios, I have followed her work for over 21 years, and still have the original picture I bought...I also was able to meet her in person while at a tea at a local gift store, and won the print to the right which she signed to me...finally, now that the kids are

all almost gone, I can frame this print and hang in the new guest room...love to be by the beach, but I don't enjoy sunbathing, I don't tan, I burn...but love the overcast dreamy feeling and the sand in my toes...it just renews my energy....maybe I should have been a mermaid....beats being a marlin, or a octopus, don't you think?

DAY SPA...FOUND MY SECOND WIND

WOW I lost a whole month...that's bad....where did the time go....oh I remember, the day spa....yes, that little project that almost drove me crazy...(love ya Jodi) but it is a beautiful retreat....and we did have a lot of laughs and fun in the process....so here are the pics, if I can get more then one loaded here...I am techno challenged about these things...forgive any mess I make....

BACK TO JOURNAL MAKING

So I am back to journal making...I love doing these little books...especially when I can personalize them. Haven't had much time to do any for a while, life gets so busy, and my crafty room is a whirlwind...I learned in my design classes that each hobby or job you do from home should have it's own room...I am thinking if I ever get to build the house I designed, that I will put in a series of very large closets...all in a row...one for scrapbooking, one for journals, one for diaper cakes, one for my interior design work, one for sewing, and one for reading....lets see that would be six little rooms, about 10x10 each, with lots of cabinets, and shelving, and a work counter all the way around...now how to sell my sweet hubby on the idea...if I say I will move to where he wants to go (which is where I don't want to go) then he has to give me the rooms....NAH...I think I will just be content to live here in my chaos chamber...ok, off and running, gotta get these in the mail....

SHAKE UP

OK...we just had an earthquake, a 4.5 in San Bernadino...fun times...hoping it isn't a preshock to a bigger one...I just hate those things....wishing I could protect all the loved ones I have, in the event of large one, but I can't do that, I can only pray we are all at home in bed and ride it out safely...then I can worry about my boys who would have to go out and help in the event of a large one...so that is another new challenge about the craziness these things can bring on...ok, it's over, and I think I am going to bed....happy hopping to me if anything else preveils tonight...wish me luck. Yipes!!!!

BEGINNINGS

So, I love beginnings...that means something new is happening...a new year, a new book, a new study, a new day, a new life, a new job (wish I could find one) a new class, a new interest, a new friend, a new understanding, a new start....you get my drift right? Well, I thought I was going to BEGIN my new year with a clean house, and office...but no, already my 2009 is not going right...I have been sick since last Wednesday, and not up to cleaning, and then my beloved gutted the kid's bathroom, tub, toilet, sink, cabinet, faucet, light, floor, all of it and started to rebuild it...it was a joy going to Home Depot and Lowes to find all the new stuff, while I was blowing my stuffed up nose and hacking my head off...so glad I didn't see anyone I knew, as makeup was out of the question...and sneeze, oh my, I had to cross my legs I sneezed so much....well, my beloved is not quite finished, but I am feeling a ton better and ready to tackle the cleaning in the next few days...I did even start the office, but it's a long way from being cleaned....oh for the day....then hopefully next weekend, beloved will finish the flooring and put the toilet back on and the sink and we will be done....nice...no doubt this will mean we will sell it, since every house I have lived in has always had to be sold when we finally finished everything....however, I do want to paint out the kitchen cabinets and redo the counters for the second time...but probably not anytime soon....I need a job first...besides, I am taking two classes this semester and start in a month, so I have to get "organ"ized by then...I think I can, I think I can....I hope I can....wish me luck....well, enough....I am looking forward to BEGINNING my cleaning tomorrow....right after the car goes into the dealer for services....joy....I will post clean pics when we finish.....